4am thoughts

Why am I here? That’s what I’ve been asking my self lately and honestly can’t come up with a damn thing. Death is something I should be afraid of but I’m just waiting for it to happen cause what’s the point of me being here? I guess the reason I’m still here is cause I can’t stand making someone sad. I can’t leave my family and friends. But the hard part is times like this when I’m alone I just feel like there is no one out there to help me. That there is no one out there who even gives a damn about me. Sometimes I wish that I wanted to live so my close relationships won’t have to deal with my shit anymore.

It may be just me but when I feel down and sad I listen to sad songs. Not to stay in a sad mood to understand that there are other people out there that feel the same way I do. Music is the way to my inner thoughts. When I get lost in music I can accomplish a lot for example it’s when I can write and really get my thoughts out onto paper. Music is probably the only reason I’m still alive it’s my escape from this thing we call life.

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